Wednesday, May 20, 2015

{late} Weekend Recap

Sooo, it's Wednesday and we're already closer to this weekend than we are to our previous one but I still wanted to share a little recap on here! I wasn't able to post on Monday or Tuesday because I had some stressful days at work {I actually have to finish a work project I took home after I finish this post} and I had a really hard class last night. *warning: skip right past the picture below if you don't want to read about #graduatestudent/writerproblems*

For whoever doesn't know {if anyone out there is even reading haha} I'm a writing and publishing graduate student and a lot of the writing courses I take are workshop based. Now, I'm really good in small group workshops. Get me in a group of four or three and you won't be able to get me to shut up {many people in my personal life can attest to this being all too true}. So, it often surprises people when in large group workshops I can barely get up enough nerve to speak. I struggle with a good amount of anxiety and I let it consume me in certain situations. Workshops are one of them. I'm already filled with a certain amount of anxiety about participating that the added anxiety about people reading and critiquing my written work is completely overwhelming. 

Normally, I get through it. I might pipe up here or there but I much prefer to write comments on people's pieces and hand my feedback that way but last night was especially tough for no specific reason and then... we got to my piece. It was probably the worst workshop experience I've had in my college career {undergrad included} thus far. Without getting into too much detail people weren't very constructive with their criticism and didn't seem to thoughtfully think out how to politely say things. I know as a writer, or any artist, you have to have a thick skin and I have developed one. I'm sensitive, no doubt, but I know what I need to hear and what isn't working in my pieces and what needs to change. I completely agreed with every criticism and comment made because they were the same concerns I had myself but it was the way in which the comments were delivered that really got to me. I know I shouldn't have let it bother me as much as I did but I couldn't help it. 

I left feeling extremely defeated, vulnerable, and I was even questioning my ability as a writer which is a dream I have had ever since I could remember. I got some excellent advice from my boyfriend and one of my girlfriends who is in the program with me who reminded me of one of our favorite quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt and I immediately made it my screensaver on my phone.

I worry about this being boring for any of you readers out there and I fear it sounds far too "poor me" and self deprecating but I realized this is for me. It doesn't matter how it sounds or is perceived because I'm here just trying to vent not to gain sympathy or make people understand. I feel better today but even better after writing it out and sharing it here. I know it may not seem like something very important to some people but when you're passionate about something and you start to question your ability it can be daunting and scary. 

ANYWAY. Let's get moving here! Thanks for letting me vent guys. It really did help. 

This weekend was full of plans and things to do which I have a love/hate relationship with haha. I love having plans and doing fun things with those I love but it also causes me a little anxiety {can you even believe it?!} because it's just so much! But this weekend turned out to be rather chill while still having something going on every minute. 

On Friday my boyfriend and I saw Pitch Perfect 2! We stood in line with every teenage girl in the tri-state area. My boyfriend kept repeating over and over again, "I'm the only guy here..." despite the fact that he's been the one counting down the days 'till this movie came out. Also, he spilled half of our popcorn {one of my favorite things on earth} in line... so, he's lucky he's cute ;)

The movie was good but definitely not as good as the first. I probably had too high of expectations. My boyfriend on the other hand thought it was really good but that's probably only because he has a large crush on Anna Kendrick. Can't blame him 'cause I, too, have a large crush on Anna Kendrick. 

On Saturday, I had to work all day at our park district which means I spent eight hours helping run three birthday parties back to back for little girls. I enjoy it because they're {usually} so cute and it's some extra money but it was an exhausting day. Afterward, I went with my mom and sister to my grandma's to set up and decorate the space for my cousin's surprise shower we were throwing her the next day.

Here are some of the food tags I made.

And here is one of my gifts after I had finished putting it together.

My cousin's mom {who is also my cousin} took a lot of pictures with her shiny nice camera so I want to do a whole post on the party as soon as she sends me those photographs. 

& then Sunday was the shower! Which was so fun and lovely and turned out really well if I do say so myself. My cousin was absolutely shocked we had done it for her and kept it all a surprise. We were so glad we were able to celebrate her and this wonderful little peanut she and her husband are bringing into this world and our lives. There isn't a more deserving family. 

This was a little sign I made that I placed by the front door so guests could see it as they walked in.

So, that was my weekend! The next one coming up is another fully packed weekend so I'll be looking forward to that as well. 

Thanks again, anyone, for reading. Even that rant of mine. It feels really good to have this space to be able to share things and hopefully learn from one day.

I hope everyone's weekends were lovely and your weekdays have been stress free. We're almost back to the weekend! 

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